What up I got a big crop
There is a saying in Tibetan, ‘Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.’ No matter what sort of difficulties, how painful experience is, if we lose our hope, that’s our real disaster.
We need at least one friend who understands what we do not say.
We are lovers who do not know how to be friends.
We are friends who do not know how to be platonic.
We are the piles of unmailed letters that linger in your desk
drawers, addressed with my name, dated two years ago.
We are postcards with Wish you were here! written in bad
cursive large enough to excuse the lack of a real sentiment.
We are bouquets of fresh cut flowers already wilting,
because we don’t know each other well enough to buy something
that will last. We are the feeling before a kiss, anticipation
of creation, of sparks or fireworks or gunshots aimed straight
for the heart. We are the unopened text messages, the unread
Facebook notifications, the unanswered voicemails, the
ever-present What if?s that keep the world up at night. We are
the magicians that have forgotten the code of never telling
the audience that we are mortal just like them. We are priests who
have learned to pray to the wrong god asking for the wrong thing.
We are lovers who do not know how to love.
We are friends who do not know how not to love.
I stopped going to therapy
because I knew my therapist was right
and I wanted to keep being wrong.
I wanted to keep my bad habits
like charms on a bracelet.
I did not want to be brave.
I think I like my brain best
in a bar fight with my heart.
I think I like myself a little broken.
I’m ok if that makes me less loved.
I like poetry better than therapy anyway.
The poems never judge me
for healing wrong.
There is a certain type of sadness that is all too addicting
13 things my uncle told me before he died:
not everyone has the blessing to understand sadness
when waiting at the bus stop, it’s okay to smoke cigarettes
never touch anyone else’s clothes at the laundromat
it’s okay to miss the people who were bullets to you
when your grandmother asks you how you are, be honest
never be afraid to say “no” even after you’ve said “yes”
if someone tells you graffiti isn’t art, prove them wrong
remember people by their eye color not their clothes
you’re allowed to like dark chocolate with tangerines
don’t lie that you don’t have a lighter when you really do
turn your phone off every once in a while and find the moon
if you want a tattoo, don’t let anyone tell you not to get it
if you ever find yourself at the graveyard, read the names
honey bear (x)
For you to insult me, I must first value your opinion.
There is only thing we say to death. “Not today”.
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